The Beautiful Uncertainty: Why Everyone’s Feeling Lost in Engineering Leadership (and Why That’s Okay)

I just got back from LDX3, LeadDev’s annual engineering leadership conference, and honestly? I feel… calmer. Not because I suddenly possess some magical key to unlocking the mysteries of scaling teams or navigating the AI revolution. Instead, I feel a deep, unsettling comfort – a recognition that everyone is wrestling with the same fundamental questions. And that, I realized, is a surprisingly powerful thing.

LDX3 wasn't a collection of brilliant, definitive answers. It wasn’t a conference selling you the next big leadership methodology. Instead, it was a collective, raw, and incredibly relatable exploration of the chaos – the beautiful uncertainty – inherent in leading engineering teams, regardless of their size or complexity.

I heard it in the quieter conversations, the hesitant questions during Q&A sessions, and the shared expressions of bewilderment on faces across the room. Everyone – from startups to FAANG giants – was grappling with the same issues: what does “Engineering Manager” (and other roles) even mean in a world increasingly shaped by AI? How do you handle the constant pressure to be “innovative” while simultaneously demanding consistent delivery? And, perhaps most acutely, how do you deal with the unsettling realization that you might be a bad manager, and what do you do about it?

The conversations centered around a surprising theme: the growing feeling of inadequacy, even among seasoned leaders. One particularly astute observation echoed through the sessions – the increasing pressure to be a perpetual expert, constantly learning new technologies and methodologies. It's exhausting, and frankly, unrealistic. As Kara puts it in this article, "By leveraging AI to inform leadership decision-making, companies can improve accuracy, reduce errors, and optimize their operations, leading to better outcomes and increased profitability.".This constant need to learn, to stay “ahead of the curve,” fuels a significant amount of stress and self-doubt.

Then there's the title problem. The very language we use to describe roles – "Product Manager," "Technical Lead," "Engineering Manager” – often feels incredibly vague and ill-defined. Are we truly equipping people with the tools and understanding they need, or are we simply layering on more labels that obscure the actual work? As Marty Cagan points out in Inspired, the best teams are built around roles, not titles.

And let's be honest, the fear of being a "bad manager" is a pervasive one. It's a vulnerability many leaders struggle to acknowledge, but recognizing it is the first step towards addressing it. The good news is, that feeling – that sense of uncertainty – isn't a sign of failure. It’s a signal that you're paying attention, that you’re willing to evolve and improve.

My own experiences building Craft Beyond Code – a lightweight platform designed to support engineering managers – have reinforced this idea. I’ve realized that the most valuable resource isn't a complex, feature-rich tool, but rather a shared understanding of the challenges we all face.

This is why I’m so drawn to approaches like compassionate leadership. Instead of focusing on performance metrics and strict processes, it emphasizes empathy, understanding, and a genuine desire to see your team members thrive. As Brené Brown) has demonstrated repeatedly, vulnerability and connection are the foundations of strong relationships – and strong teams.

The key takeaway from LDX3 wasn't about finding the "perfect" answer, but about accepting the imperfect nature of leadership. It’s about acknowledging the ongoing learning process, embracing the ambiguity, and building a culture of open communication and mutual support.

Craft Beyond Code isn’t designed to eliminate that uncertainty – it’s built to help manage it. We're focused on creating a space where engineering managers can track individual progress, facilitate meaningful 1:1s, and align work with personal goals – all in a way that feels human and supportive.

Ultimately, the beauty of LDX3 wasn't the profound insights, but the validation of a simple truth: we’re all in this together. And that, more than anything, is a comfort.